Because I don’t know when he’ll be getting home, waiting for him is a hell all its own. I clean and clean some more. Just after one o’clock, I put Linus down for her nap. I lay on the sofa and hold still. That’s when I hear the keys in the door. I jump up, my heart in my throat. He comes in wearing different clothes. He took the bus home. The car has been impounded, his clothes confiscated as evidence. They gave him what they had to wear home. I can’t say anything to him and he can’t look at me…
He says he wants a shower and he disappears into the bathroom. When he comes out, he puts those clothes in a plastic bag and dumps them down the building garbage chute. I ask if he’s hungry. He says he just wants a sandwich. All I hear is the clock ticking and my heart pounding. When he does tell me the story, my mouth goes dry and my stomach upside down.
He did pick her up…they did go to the gravel yard. She said she was 18… looking for a little action. When the gravel yard manager showed up, she panicked…started screaming. No matter how they pleaded with him, the manager held them there until the police arrived. Jonathan was charged with “indecent assault” because there was no “intercourse.” She was “servicing” him and she said he made her do it. This is where they find out she’ll be 15 in two months. I’m dying inside listening to this. She’s 14 years old…what is he doing? What is she doing?
I finally say “Why? Why would you do that? You have a wife and a baby and another on the way. We have a half decent life and you just throw it away like that?” He finally looks at me and says he’s sorry. “No matter how smart you think you are, when you do things like this, you will get caught and it’s the innocent people caught in the middle who suffer the most.” Again he says he’s sorry. I can’t even cry. The humiliation, the pain and anger just won’t let me. I tell him I don’t want him touching me again. The pain in his eyes takes me off guard for just a minute…but only a minute.
I sit in the dark of the living room. He’s on the balcony. I wonder what is going through his head when he looks at the gravel pit. I wonder what comes next. The public defender will talk to him before court which is in three months. It just dawns on me now that I have to tell my parents. Oh my God…oh my God…And he has to tell his mother. His family won’t care; they’ll treat it like a big joke. That’s how they are…My mother won’t be able to handle this. What am I going to do? This is when I realize he may go to jail. If he does I’ll have to move back home. My head aches and I take some medicine for my head and my rotting stomach.
I take a sleeping Linus out of her crib and I take her to my bed. I don’t care where he sleeps…I cuddle my baby and finally the tears come and I keep asking myself Why?…and I cry myself to sleep with no good answer…
Next -> The Truth
Tags: indecent assault, intercourse, looking for action, shower