The devil is standing on my back porch steps. He has black hair, mustache and necessary goatee. He even has those pointy eyebrows hovering over malevolent eyes. He’s wearing a black satin suit, a cape, a top hat and has a walking stick. There’s no window on my back door. When someone knocks, I never know who’s standing on the other side. I always open it in case it’s my husband who’s forgotten his keys. Not doing so can earn me pain. But the shock of seeing the devil roots me where I stand.
He flips his cape over his shoulder making me jump. He removes his hat from his greasy hair. I think this can’t be the real devil. For one thing he’s too short. The devil is tall and very thin. And I know for sure that he’s way too vain to be seen in public with such greasy hair. This must be one of his minions.
Mr. Minion shows flawless teeth and says “My name is Julian and I’m looking for your husband.” Really? I don’t know if I should laugh or run. Then he clears his throat and says “Actually Neoma, I’m looking for you. I have already paid your husband. You have something I want.”
I have not eaten anything since yesterday morning and I’m seriously thinking that I’m hallucinating. I wobble a little. The bastard sold ME to the devil? For what? Beer money? I try to close the door and Mr. Minion sticks out his hand to stop it. “What I want is your skills,” he says. “You do have a sewing machine?” I have to be losing my mind. “I own a little boutique and I would like you to sew suits like I am wearing,” he smiles “and I will pay well.” I want to laugh! He wants me to make suits for all the little minions?! I tell him I don’t have a sewing machine. My voice quivers more than I want it to. He can see by my eyes that I’m telling the truth. “Oh, that is a dreadful oversight. I’m very sorry.” And he leaves. Just like that.
Later when I tell Jonathan of this visit, he has no clue until I mention the cape and top hat. “Oh him.” He says it like I’m talking about no one. I’m frightened and ask if I can expect more visits from weirdoes and where did you find him. All he says is “Starvin Marvins.”
Now the whole surreal thing is very clear. This has nothing to do with making black satin suits for minions. This is the devil’s way to let me know that Jonathan is in one of the trashiest strip joints on those nights he doesn’t come home and I lay awake with my gut rotting. I didn’t know. We have no sex life because the whole thing disgusts Jonathan, yet he spends precious food money on watching naked women. Tells Mr. Minion I have a sewing machine, I will work for him, in exchange for an advance of how many dollars, that he then proceeds to drink?
He lies to the devil himself and he’s still standing here. This is the devil’s way of letting me know he owns my husband…
I think maybe I will lay down on the floor right here and go to sleep.
Next -> The Madness
Tags: cape and top hat, devil, devils servant, greasy hair, minion, sewing