I’ve been in the hospital for the past five days. When I was pregnant with Boo, I ended up with a fistula beneath my tail bone. It’s supposed to heal from the inside out. When the outside heals first, it makes like an abscess inside. This is the fifth surgery I’ve had to repair it. I knew it was starting up again when I had difficulty sitting, and then walking. He was not happy to know this. The other four surgeries were done while he was in jail. I was home and I had my parents to care for the babies.
After the doctor examined me, he asked me if I had injured myself or been injured recently. I had a hard time looking at him and saying “no.” I don’t have my babies with me and I’m afraid they’ll be taken from me if I say anything. The doctor set a date for my surgery and I really began to worry. I had to have the operation…I had to go into the hospital and leave the babies with their father for all this time.
He picked me up and the babies were not with him. I panicked and he told me they were with Norma and Sandy. Oh just great…Leave my children with your lover. At first, he was not happy about my having to be in the hospital. But then he began to go on how “it needs to be done and I have to be healthy….” His sudden sympathy does not fool me; especially when he told me that Sandy and Norma will just have to take care of them during the day. And Sandy can take care of him during the night.
It’s a terrible task telling my precious babies that I will be away for five days. Linus understood and got all upset. Boo cried because Linus was crying. I tried to explain to Linus that I’m sick and the doctor will make me all better. Sandy and Norma will be here with them. The day I left, Linus was so upset, she just stared at me with those blue eyes and it made me feel so bad. I told them I would bring them a treat when I came home and it didn’t work. I left with them crying “Mommy…Mommy…” It was heart breaking…
The surgery went well and the doctor told me it should be ok from now on, providing I follow his instructions. I fully intend to. Being away from Linus and Boo this long is too much. I got into an argument with the woman across from me. She’s the single most miserable human being I’ve ever met. She argued about every thing and I told her she was giving us all headaches. They finally put her in a private room and I was totally happy about it.
He came to visit and he was so nice, he made me nauseous. On the third day, he brought the babies and I was ecstatic. They’ve been miserable. Now that they’ve seen me, maybe they’ll calm down for Sandy. Sandy who is probably sleeping on my side of the mattress…We counted two on our fingers, two days till I came home, and they seemed to be better…
I go home tomorrow. Except for missing the monkeys, I enjoyed this time away. It’s given me time to think…a lot. Tomorrow it’s back to my life. I hope he leaves me alone while I heal. Maybe I can encourage him to spend more time with Sandy…Then I can think some more…
Next -> Make a Wish
Tags: abscess, fistula, lover, private room