The hours slip by, my ears are ringing and I think of how much I want to sleep. The baby I hold is murmuring and the other one is having “tea” with Popo and host of other creatures, stuffed and imagined. I think of how I’d like to be home right now. Yesterday was my sister’s birthday…Today it’s Anda’s and I should be there, eating an entire box of chocolates with her. I miss her…
As I grieve all this, I’m surprised by a little hand touching my face. I look into the eyes of a smiling Linus. I touch her head. She’s not burning up any more. The fever broke…She sits up and says “Go pee Mom,” followed by “Potsico Mom…” She wants a popsicle…just like that. For over 24 hours, I’ve been holding her, praying and worrying what to do. There she is, like nothing happened. The grace of God…
I take her to pee and she’s still a little wobbly. Washed up and in warm clothes, she chatters away with Boo. They sit at their table with their “mess” shirts on, the ones they have to wear if they want popsicles. Boo is yakking away at her. She was so lonely all by herself. I give them popsicles that I make from juice, in a little cup, with plastic spoons for handles. I watch in amazement as they carry on like usual.
In the middle of all this, he comes home. The panic rises in me instantly. He comes to tell me he had a delivery close by and he can drop us off at the hospital and join us after he’s done work. I point to Linus with a huge red ring around her mouth, devouring some more “potsico.” He looks at me and says “What happened?” I tell him that’s what kids do. Get sick suddenly and scare you half to death then come out of it just as quickly. He says not to make dinner, he’ll bring something. I look at him and wonder if I’m hallucinating from being awake over 30 hours.
And he does bring dinner! KFC, with fries and cole slaw. And it’s for all of us. When I was pregnant for both babies, that’s all I craved. The babies go crazy when they realize we have “frefries.” They clap their hands and do that manic laugh kids have when they’re excited. They sit at their little table while I set out the dishes. He brings this huge radio out of nowhere and puts it on the oldies station. He tells the babies to come to our table and they look at me. I shake my head yes. With Linus on his lap and Boo on mine, we begin to feast. The babies are told to eat one fry at a time or they’d pack their mouths full if they could. I let them have little pieces of chicken but it’s the cole slaw that really does it. Again I have to make sure they don’t shovel it all in their mouths. They chatter and say “Yummy Mom…Yummy Dad…” The radio blasts “Momma let him play” and we sing and eat and laugh. I can barely believe what I see. A part of me knows it’s too much to expect, wishing it would last. But for now, I will put this small happiness away in my heart, of us sharing dinner, music and something close to love…
It’s the very first time we’ve sat together as a family to share a meal…
Next -> Time to Think
Tags: box of chocolates, creatures stuffed and imagined, hallucinating, popsicle