Did I ever tell you that we had a car? A nice one too. But he cracked it up, one night, when we were visiting back home. Best part was, he had his brother’s wife with him. We called her Queenie because she was such a snob. We all wanted to know what she was doing out in the middle of the night with him, especially her husband. I already knew. It was really tense in that house the whole time we were there…
Did I ever tell you about the yellow ribbon I used, to bind his letters, when he was in jail? When he got out and we were packing up our stuff to move, he saw the pack of letters and started laughing. Told me the ribbon belonged to a girl he’d been messing with. My stomach did a back flip. When he told me her name, my blood ran cold. I went to school with her, knew who she was. On their last night together, the bitch gave him her ribbon. Like a keepsake. I found it in our junk and thought it came from my mother’s, along with many other things. I should have known. That girl always wore those stupid ribbons in her hair. I threw out the letters with the ribbon…
Did I tell you the telescope is gone? Yah it is. He sold it. For drinking money, I suppose. I could hardly contain myself, when I saw him carry it out that morning, when he left for work. It was a good day.
Today’s a bad day. He wailed on me for breaking the window. He had to find all his tools in the snow drift outside. The landlord came to repair it. He didn’t make us pay for it after he saw my battered face. I don’t think he likes us living here. I hate him…I hate them all…the police who won’t do a thing for me…that old bastard Jenkins…my husband. They’re all the same…no one cares…I feel so alone…
Did I tell you that Sandy is gone back East for a visit? She and Norma left last week. She’s still agonizing over him. How stupid…I think she tried to get pregnant, on purpose, and knew damn well she wasn’t. To see what he’d do. Hey, he’s gonna do to you what he does to me! Hahhhahha….I think I’m losing it…here in the dark. I can feel the stickiness of blood on my face without even touching it. Ohh my babies…where are they? I don’t hear them crying or anything…
Did I tell you that after he beat me, he raped me…he doesn’t see it that way. I’m his wife so there’s no such thing as rape in a marriage. I couldn’t fight back…I thought my ribs were broken…and my face exploded in pain from the blows…and I couldn’t fight back…on the floor…bleeding…I didn’t know what he was doing at first…then he opened my legs and I wanted to scream but he put his hand over my mouth…and I couldn’t scream…and I couldn’t fight back…and he hurt me so bad…I started singing this song in my head…Misguided angel hangin over me, Heart like a Gabriel, Pure and white as ivory…Soul like a Lucifer, Black and cold like a piece a lead…Misguided angel, love you till I’m dead…
I want my babies…where are my babies…hello little babies…Mom is looking for you…where are you hiding? Come out, come out, wherever you are…Mom is…please let me out...
I think I’m in the basement but I’m not sure…I don’t care…
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Tags: misguided angel, rape, ribbon, telescope