In the midst of cleaning and getting through our usual day, I suddenly realize there’s no chatter and boisterous baby noises or squabbling. A mother has a sixth sense about these things when her babies are playing way too quietly. I sneak into the living room to see what mischief they’re up to. Those little goobers…My smile fades when I find Linus lying on the couch and little Boo pulling her hand and saying “Come pay Nina, pay wiv Boo.” I’ve never seen Linus do that and all the red flags go up. I sit her on my lap and she’s warm. “Nina don’t feel good Mom…” The words every mother dreads to hear. Since it’s nap time anyway, I think maybe that’s all she needs. I should have known when she wouldn’t eat all her lunch. I give her a bit of juice and two minutes later she throws it up, all over me. Quiet panic settles into my stomach.
By the time he gets home, she has a high fever. My mother thermometer, since I don’t have a real one, tells me it’s too high. I lay her down on the couch and try to make his dinner. Her pitiful cries hurt so much when you feel helpless. Boo won’t eat, because “Nina schick. Nina not pay.” He’s eating his dinner and like he’s just come back from the moon, he asks what’s wrong with her. I actually tell him without screaming. Linus throws up again and by the time I’m done cleaning her up and settling her again, he’s watching TV. With my anger just below the surface, I tell him, if she gets any worse, in the next hour, he has to take us to the hospital. He waives me away saying she’ll be all right. Besides he has no intention of sitting in a hospital waiting room, until the wee hours, then going to work in the morning.
I want to march right up to him and slap him into next week. But I have a sick girl to worry about. I tell him to go to bed, when he’s ready, because I’ll be sleeping in the babies’ room. He doesn’t argue. I finally get Boo to eat cereal by telling her it will help “Linus get all better” and I pray to God she doesn’t get sick either. I get them ready for bed. I put on my pjs, tie my hair back. Boo won’t go to sleep because she’s scared. She’s little but she knows something is wrong with her partner. I put her in Linus’ bed, along with Popo, her favorite bear, and Dolly Baby. With Linus on my lap, I sit with Boo and sing to her until she finally falls asleep.
Linus is whimpering…she’s burning up. I take an aspirin, crush a bit of it in a teaspoon, mix it with water and sugar, and make her take it. Again she whimpers and it breaks my heart. I drag a dining room chair into the kitchen, where it’s cooler because of the back door. I put a small basin of water beside the chair. She’s in warm jammies, and I wrap her up in a blanket. I place a cool cloth on her little head. The darkened living room tells me he’s already gone to bed. The light above the stove would probably bother him, so I turn it off. By the light of the oven, I settle on the chair, hold my baby close to me and begin to rock her, begin my long vigil…
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Tags: goobers, quiet panic, sixth sense, slap him into next week