I hated public high school even more than private school. The cruelty, of those who were once my friends, was almost unbearable. Those girls who thought they were special. Vicious whispering made it so difficult to walk the halls and keep my head up high. Technically I did bring it on myself. I went out on a date with a boy who, unbeknownst to me, had a racket going with his stupid friends. They made a point of trying to pick up girls they thought they could score with…especially those like me, plain and obviously virgins. We’d heard stories, but when he asked me out, I was so surprised and pleased, good sense went out the window.
That night I wore my black ballet body suit with my best jeans over it. I hated my hair because I could not tame it; I just let it hang down. I was soooo nervous and excited at the same time. We went to a restaurant where his friends and their dates were hanging out. I was so shy…I had a hard time talking to anyone. I could feel they were laughing at me… I just picked at the fries I ordered. He then took me to a friend’s house, just to hang out he said. That friend’s parents were not home and I started to panic but I was too afraid to say anything.
I watched quietly as they drank beer and smoked some pot. They made fun of me because I refused everything they offered. I decided to leave. I was scared and if my mother found out, she’d kill me. As I headed to the door, my date grabbed me and pulled me into a sort of alcove. He whispered all manner of sweet nothings in my ear and kissed me. He whispered more shit at me and started to touch me. I pushed him away and ran out. At first I was so freaked out, I wasn’t sure where I was. I was crying too, which made me more confused. I finally got my bearings and ran to Pitt St. where I caught the first bus home.
When I got to school on Monday, people were staring and laughing. It took me awhile but I found out that, this asshole I dated, told everyone who would listen, he’d gone all the way with me. I was mortified. I tried to defend myself but I was a nobody and he was on the football team. They believed him…every word… Without really having done anything, my reputation was shot. That was the beginning of a new kind of hell. In a small town, everybody knows everybody else and it got to the point where I couldn’t go anywhere without someone pointing or whispering. They called me names…Neoma Nookie…
At a dance once, this idiot boy named Mick, told me that girl from GV, the slut Neoma Nookie, was up in the bleachers “doing it” with all the guys that wanted some action. I don’t know who was up there but it obviously wasn’t me. I was so angry and so upset, I slapped his face and told him that girl from GV, Neoma, was standing right in front of him. Of course, he didn’t believe me. I cried all the way home. How can this be? I hadn’t done anything. Someone with less than stellar conduct was saying her name was Neoma? By the time I got to school on Monday, I was so depressed, I began to entertain the thought of killing myself.
Next -> The Boat
Tags: bad reputation, body suit, cruelty, smoke pot, suicide