I got two dollars a week for allowance and I’d saved up to get these awesome sparkly barrettes. I couldn’t wait until Monday, so I could wear them to school, in my unruly hair. The very first person to notice them was Katie. She glared at me continuously, with the most forlorn expression on her face, which was odd. She always smiled or laughed, out of habit maybe, or because she was mentally ill. We’d never met anyone with a mental illness before, what did we know.
At recess, she followed me around at a safe distance. While I played dodge ball, she sat on the cement steps and watched until I felt really uncomfortable. The odd part was none of us really knew why she was doing this. Eventually I began to think it was the barrettes. One of my girlfriends said the same thing…maybe it’s the barrettes. Every one was getting nervous. Even I had these flashes of Katie suddenly dashing at us, jumping me and tearing the barrettes and my hair out trying to get them.
At second recess, that afternoon, we could see she was getting agitated and someone told me to take off the barrettes. I did and put them in the pocket of my uniform. Katie went berserk. We all got so scared, watching her flail and scream, that I quickly put them back in my hair. Katie got quiet again. But she sat there, panting and staring with that crazy look of hers. It also became obvious that attacking her sister was normal to her, but to attack us, well, she didn’t even try. Then I saw her start to cry. She was wearing what looked like her mother’s house dress. It was tied at the waist and pulled up to make it shorter. She kept wiping the snot on the back of her hand.
Something inside me swelled and I knew what I had to do. I was scared to death but it was the right thing to do. I swallowed hard and made my way over to her. As I got closer, she began to shrink into herself and push away from me. She was as scared of me, as I was of her…So I pulled one barrette out of my hair and held it out to her. She stopped and watched me so strangely, I started to feel faint. By this time, her sister had materialized and was watching this whole thing intently. I held the barrette almost to Katie’s face. I’d never been this close to her before. She carefully, gently touched the barrette and pointed to her head.
I could hear my friends saying “don’t touch her hair…” I took the barrette and with shaking hands, I clipped it into her dirty matted hair. She looked at me with such joy, I thought I was going to cry. “Pretty?” she asked. That was the first time we ever heard her talk! “Very pretty,” I stammered. She started to laugh and scream with delight and I was ready to run…But I saw Betty about to jump on her and to my great surprise, I yelled at her “NO!” Betty was so stunned, that she stopped. I took the other barrette and offered it to her. She sat down beside her sister and I put the other barrette in her greasy hair. They looked at each other and screamed and laughed. They got up and very shyly hugged me. Then they ran off. Two days later, they were gone and we never saw them again.
Next -> Seeking Identity
Tags: allowance, barrettes, house dress, mental illness