We don’t have a Christmas tree. He says it’s too much money for nothing. His Christmas cheer comes in a bottle mixed with cola. After a few drinks, he is suffused with goodwill to all men. Except his family…
But there is a children’s tree and as long as I am alive there always will be. I bought it when he was in jail. It’s just a little thing about three feet tall and I have decorations from my childhood and more that I bought when I could.
I dug it up from the boxes in the basement. I hate this place. And for one heart stopping moment I couldn’t find it. I just wanted to get out of there so bad that I wasn’t looking properly. With my treasure in my arms, I ran back up the stairs as fast as I could. I hate that I’m so afraid of that basement…A grace from God is that he’s gone to a company party tonight. The company he no longer works for. That’s ok by me.
After their bath and snuggled into their pajamas, the babies are playing quietly when I announce I have a surprise. The squeals of delight and shouts of “Kissmiss twee!” fill my heart with joy. I make hot chocolate, warm chocolate for them, and we set up a sturdy box by the wall near a window. We cover the box with an old red table cloth. It fits just right. We carefully place the tree on it and smooth out the branches until it’s just perfect. The babies dance and sing “Jinyo bells rudop the red node weindeer” loudly and all mixed up. When I take out the lights and string them around their little tree, they stop and watch because they’re not sure what this is about. I don’t light it yet. I open the boxes of decorations and the giggling and clapping resumes with “ooohs” and “aaaahs” and “Lookit Mom!” all around.
We put the lovely decorations on our little tree and we sing the same songs over and over again. “Look Mom! A noman!” “Look look Mom…Sana Cause!” And before we know it, we have it all done. We put the boxes away and clean up and we gather around the tree for the big moment. I put on the stove light so they are not afraid when I turn off the living room light. We count one, two, three…and I plug in the lights.
And the little tree, the children’s tree, lights up in red, green, blue and yellow and we applaud and the babies laugh and say “Mewwy Kissmiss Mom!” And I say “Merry Christmas my darling monkeys” and they hug each other and me and I tickle them and we end up all over the floor, laughing. Now it’s time for bed and we know its three more sleeps before “Sana Cause” is here. We say our prayers and they hop into bed. We chatter about the tree and Sana until they are sleepy and drift off to peaceful baby sleep.
In the living room, I sit and drink another hot chocolate and stare at the little tree that means so much to me, and will become a tradition for my babies. I want to keep this happy tree and all that goes with it until Linus and Boo have their own babies…I’m tired but a good tired for once. And I ask God that their father doesn’t do anything to destroy it and break their hearts and ruin Kissmiss…
Next -> My Christmas Prayer
Tags: christmas tree, company party, darling monkeys, hot chocolate