I wake up in a sweat. I’ve been dreaming of my best friend Anda. All of a sudden it’s all so clear to me. Why didn’t I think of it before? It’s 3:00 a.m. and I can barely breathe waiting for the morning…waiting for him to leave…waiting for the right time…waiting, waiting, always waiting…
And finally the babies are napping; thank God they still do that. I get some paper and a pen and I write my letter. Once again I chide myself. Why didn’t I think of it before? Because you stopped writing letters home. I used to write to my parents but he tore them up when he saw they were in French. When I wrote them in English, he may or may not mail them. This time I will do it myself.
I will write to my Andalee and she will know what to do. I will mail it myself. She will help you. He doesn’t consider her family. He doesn’t like her; he’s jealous of her because she’s my best and closest friend. I wanted her to be my maid of honor at my wedding but he wouldn’t hear of it. I can write to her, tell her everything. She will tell her Dad. He will tell my folks. They will alert the police so that I can leave here and not worry about him hurting anyone. I can finally leave and go home and it will all be ok. If anyone can help me it’s my Anda.
It’s so hard to write and tell her what has to be told. I tell her everything I can, four pages worth and I beg her to help me, to make it so that I can leave here. I tell her to send a letter to me in care of Michael at the music store and give her the address. I will check with him every few days. I then have to find enough change to buy a stamp. I’ll steal change from his pockets when he’s in the shower. I have a few pennies already. I take out the letter that’s taped under my underwear drawer. In case of my untimely death…it makes me feel very vulnerable reading those words. I put it in with Anda’s letter, address it to her and tape it back under the drawer. One more time, I steal change from his pants pocket. I’m scared to death to get caught but the exhilaration I feel knowing I have the money for a stamp pushes me on. Tomorrow is the day…
It’s a beautiful sunny day and I have everything ready. I just need to bundle up those babies into their stroller. We can enjoy some fresh air and I can mail my letter. I am so pumped for this. Once I hear back from Anda, I can start planning how I will get out of here. I will have to get the money somehow. Maybe I can sell my locket. Maybe I can ask my parents. I will find a way. I get ready and the almost happy face looking back at me, in the mirror, is one I have not seen in a very long time. Just before I get the babies ready, I retrieve my precious letter. I reach under my underwear drawer…and there’s nothing…the panic rises in my throat and I think I will faint. I tear apart the other drawers, just in case I taped it somewhere else in my excitement…no letter anywhere…it’s gone…
Next -> The Promise
Tags: barely breathe, maid of honor, steal change, underwear