Something is crawling across my face. Oh God. Shadows play across the wall. Where am I? Sit up…The pain makes me remember not only where I am but why I’m here. I hate this basement. I’ve always been afraid to end up here and worse ending up here with things crawling all over me. I’m so dizzy. Just sit up and brush these bugs off you. Ugh…Don’t cry… My legs, my arms oh they hurt but they’re not broken. My ribs and face hurt so much… I need to get up the stairs. Maybe the door is unlocked.
It takes me awhile. Hold your ribs…a few steps at a time. That’s good…I finally perch myself on the top step. The door is locked.. Just lean on it to steady yourself. I can’t tell what time it is. Just stay right here. I’m afraid to throw up from the pain and dizziness. After awhile I find a decent enough position. Please God… that he lets me out…I’m so cold…Just sleep…
Screaming makes me jump and I almost fall off the step. Is that me? In my confusion I think it’s me. I realize it’s the babies. “Nina want Mommy!” screams Linus. “Mommy, Mommy!” cries Boo. I can hear him trying to comfort them and telling them they’ll look for Mommy. They scream and cry and he can’t make them stop. As they pass the basement door, I bang on it and try to call out. But the babies are screaming so loud, they can’t hear me. I take a deep breath and scream and bang as loud as my hurting ribs allow. I’m here! I hear him say “Neoma?” He tries to shush the babies by telling them Mommy’s here. They don’t see me, they keep screaming.
He unlocks and opens the door and I spill out onto the floor. He has to put the babies down because they are too much to handle. He looks at me and says “Why are you in the basement?” He says it so quietly, it’s almost like he’s asking himself that question. He doesn’t remember… The babies jump on me and the pain is more than I can endure but I don’t push them away. Their pain is worse. I turn my face to him and he goes white as a sheet. He tries to help me. “Don’t touch me!” I yelp. The babies have stopped screaming but they have those hiccups that children get when they cry too much. I hold them and kiss them and they hang on to me like they’re drowning.
“I’m so sorry, Neoma…” he whispers. “Let me help you…” and I have no choice. He helps me up and to the bathroom. He and the babies wash me up, careful not to hurt me more. He keeps whispering “I’m so sorry.” I tell him to stop. He doesn’t remember…The babies echo his words. “Sowwy Mom, Nina be good.” “…good Mom.” I tell them they are very good, they didn’t do anything. He tears up strips of old sheets and binds my ribs. “I’ll never do this again…” Once more, I tell him to stop. I get up and look in the mirror. I can’t describe what I see…I want to sleep…
Clean, changed and bandaged, I make my way to the couch. He looks terrible. He doesn’t remember…Throughout the day, the babies come and kiss me to make me all better. They make it better because if I didn’t have them, I think I would just go to sleep and never wake up…
Next -> Begging for Christmas
Tags: basement, binds my ribs, hurting ribs, screaming