It’s pitch black in here. I’m paralyzed with fear. I hear him put the mattress down and realize I’ll be here awhile. I don’t dare touch the walls; they’re ice cold and crawling with spiders. I hate spiders…I’m freezing… Stop crying…it only makes you colder. Can’t stop. How can anyone be so cruel…How did I end up like this…I can hardly breathe thinking of being here, in the dark, in the cold, much longer… I hate being cold…stop crying…Maybe he’ll let me out in a bit… He can’t leave me here all night…
When I can finally move, I rub my hands and feet to warm them up. I try to put my feet inside my pajama legs but it doesn’t work. I think if I sit on the stairs by the door it will be warmer but it’s no better. It’s too damp and cold down here. I sit half way down the stairs in case he opens the door suddenly. Why do you even think of that! Why do you even worry what he thinks…You’re the one locked in the basement…
I hate the darkness…There’s absolutely no light down here. There was a sliver of light under the door until he turned off the living room light. The two windows closest to me are covered with snow, plunging me into total darkness. Just blackness forever. I can’t even make my way over to the other half of the house. I would fall over something and crack my head open for sure. Then when I knock on their basement door, would they answer without a baseball bat? Then what? My husband locked me in the basement and I’m freezing to death, can I come in and warm up? What would he do to me then…
Stop crying…The pain is so great in my heart that no matter how I try, I can’t stop crying. I’m getting a headache. I’m so cold…Try to sleep…Oh God no…I need to pee…I wait as long as I can but I know if I bang on the door, he won’t answer. My bladder hurts. The thought of pulling down my pajama bottoms is more than I can take. I sit in the middle of the stairs…and pee, right there, in my pajamas…
I lay sideways on the stairs, cold, wet and miserable and I stop crying. The hours go pass in slow motion and as I lay there, I believe I will finally go mad…this is how people go insane…they’re pushed beyond endurance and they can’t hold on any more…I just want to scream…and scream…and scream… I’m so far gone, that when he does open the door, I’m curled up on the icy floor. I don’t remember getting there. The light hurts my eyes.
“Get up here,” he barks. He sounds so far away… I can’t move…what day is it…I feel him grab me and pull me up the stairs. I hurt so bad…”Did you piss yourself?” he asks. Did I? “Get cleaned up. The babies will wake up soon.” Babies…I had babies…long ago it seems…I hear the water running. He puts me in the shower with my pajamas on. Oh the hot water feels so good…so good…He pulls me out of the shower. I stand there and sway. “What’s wrong with you?” he hisses. What’s wrong with me…He tells me to snap out of it. I barely feel the slap that accompanies his words. Swaying in the middle of the room, dripping, I look at him. “I hate you…” I tell him.
The walls close in…and I pass out…
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Tags: crawling with spiders, locked in the basement, paralyzed, pee in my pajamas