I’m drifting around in my head. I didn’t put the mattress up against the wall and it is now afternoon. The only sounds are the babies breathing softly as they nap on “Mom’s bed.” We played hard today. We colored and we sang and they brushed my hair. I have long red blonde hair [...]
“Where the hell were you???!!” booms around the room as I try to pull in the stroller without collapsing. I stumble into the living room and he’s sitting on the couch, his jacket still on. Maybe he just got here…“What are you doing?” He barks. I unbundle the babies, and start stammering, spinning my story [...]
He has a job as a delivery guy. His fifth job in as many months. He hates work but he won’t let me go to work. They’ve supplied him with a rattletrap car but it works great and it keeps him happy for now. As he tells me his delivery itinerary, up to Mennonite country, [...]
He hands me sixty dollars. I hold my breath in disbelief. I don’t dare hope. “Go to the music store at the mall and get me the guitar in the window. You should have enough there.” The money almost burns my hand. I want to protest loudly “do you know how much food I can [...]
The padding of little feet is a morning ritual. The minute the sun rises, one will wake the other and they will play in their room, with their toys. When they get hungry or have to pee, they come running. They have pajamas with feet and the sound they make is unmistakable…the sound is music [...]
I’m being dragged across the street to the strip mall…To the doctor’s office. I’m carrying two children. I’m not moving fast enough so he’s pulling me along, by the collar of my sweater. The babies chatter to each other and I watch every step in front of me. I’m afraid to fall and hurt these [...]
The slice of sunlight makes my eyes hurt and my body shiver. He is not home and I dare to throw open the heavy curtains on the big living room window. For few hours I will let the world in and the pleasure is exquisite.
I look around the room and I feel shame at seeing [...]
Every time I breathe, wood creaks and glass tinkles. I don’t know how long I’ve been laying here on the floor. The hutch is pinning down my right arm. I know the glass from the door is smashed and I suddenly become afraid to move. Shards of glass decorate my hair and I feel something [...]
I have trained my babies to sleep on the floor at the back of the closet, in their bedroom. It’s just a fun game for them, like camping. They’re not afraid. On the nights when the madness comes, I take them out of their little beds and hide them in one corner of the closet. [...]
The devil is standing on my back porch steps. He has black hair, mustache and necessary goatee. He even has those pointy eyebrows hovering over malevolent eyes. He’s wearing a black satin suit, a cape, a top hat and has a walking stick. There’s no window on my back door. When someone knocks, I never [...]